The other day I made my c …
The other day I made my car completely theft proof. I slapped a Toyota badge on it.
Continue ReadingThe other day I made my car completely theft proof. I slapped a Toyota badge on it.
Continue ReadingJust as the train was pulling into London, I pulled the emergency brake and announced that I had a bomb. After the court costs and the hefty fine, it still worked out cheaper than buying a ticket.
Continue ReadingDifficult day at work today… Got in big trouble for having a wee drink on the job and lacking in productivity. In my defence, another fire engine was only five minutes behind…
Continue ReadingAt the end of the night I dropped a girl off at her house and thought I’d try my luck. “Aren’t you going to invite me in for a cup of tea?” I asked. “Of course I’m not!” she shouted, getting out of my taxi.
Continue ReadingI just flew into Liverpool and I don’t know who robbed me more; Ryanair or the Scousers on the plane.
Continue ReadingI couldn’t believe it when my girlfriend ditched me yesterday. I knew it was a bad idea giving her driving lessons.
Continue ReadingTime Travelers: Only 93 days till last Christmas.
Continue ReadingI was very surprised to find out this morning that my train was going to arrive on time for the first time in months, So I eased up on the speed & pulled into the station 20 minutes late.
Continue ReadingWhat’s black, usually big, kills people, police are always on it and I just love to run over it with my car? A road.
Continue ReadingI escaped from several near death experiences today. I declined a lift from my wife and got a taxi.
Continue ReadingA man goes for an interview as a bus driver. When he gets there, the interviewer says, “You’re 45 minutes late! The job’s yours.”
Continue ReadingLike most sickipedians, I don’t need a sat-nav to tell me to repeatedly drive up and down the high street on a warm sunny day.
Continue ReadingITN News: Plane leaves runway at Newcastle Airport. You’d certainly hope so, how else was it going to reach its destination, by road?
Continue ReadingJust heard a message over the tannoy on the train saying leaving my personal belongings will end up with them being taking and destroyed. So, I am going to kidnap Bono and stuff him in a bag and leave it on a train. Fingers crossed!
Continue ReadingBBC News : ‘House car crash victim is named’ I told the wife she’s not allowed to leave the kitchen, but she insisted on learning to drive.
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