“If you can’t see my mirr …
“If you can’t see my mirrors then I can’t see you” Excellent, pull in close behind you and I’m safe to pick my nose then…
Continue Reading“If you can’t see my mirrors then I can’t see you” Excellent, pull in close behind you and I’m safe to pick my nose then…
Continue ReadingI got talking to a woman and she asked me what my name was: “Dennis” “Oh really, did your parents like old fasioned names then?” “Nah, they were fire engine enthusiasts”
Continue ReadingJust drove home from the pub and the police pulled me over. I was asked to explain why I was driving on the pavement, so I was honest….I said I had no road tax!
Continue ReadingI pulled my wife bleeding from the wrecked car, as she screamed and pleaded for me to let her have one more shot at parking it again.
Continue ReadingME69 YOU will make a great registration plate in 2019
Continue ReadingI bought a second hand FedEx van today. I hate the colour and the uniform, but I can park it anywhere.
Continue ReadingI give my wife a bottle of champagne every weekend. Just before she goes swimming.
Continue ReadingI was following a BMW down the road today when suddenly, it veered to the left, mounted the pavement & mowed down a bunch of school kids. I was gobsmacked, things happened so fast, there was no indication at all
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference to being run over by a train and getting an electric shock? about 5 minutes according to my mate liam.
Continue ReadingJust kicked my neighbours car, now I have to figure out how to get a smart car out of a tree.
Continue ReadingLadies and Gentlemen, welcome on board this Ryanair flight. In the event of a sudden drop in cabin pressure, masks will drop down from above you. Please insert 5 Euros for oxygen.
Continue Reading3 year old girl falls through stairs while boarding aircraft. Ryanair promise to take steps to avoid a repeat incident.
Continue ReadingMe and the wife stopped at the services recently for some breakfast. We got two fry ups, two coffees and two jam doughnuts. I got to the cashier and I said, “I’m sorry, love, but I only have a 50 note.” “That’s okay,” she said, “just put the doughnuts back.”
Continue ReadingAfter experiencing another long delay I went up to the ticket office at the train station. ‘ Whats the point of having a train time table if all the trains are always late, ‘ I said. ‘ Well if we didn’t have a time table how would we know the trains were late, ‘ replied […]
Continue ReadingMy wife caused chaos yesterday by going up the motorway on the wrong side. She was in the driver’s seat.
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