Women, I wish to thank you for placing those “Child On Board” stickers in the back of your cars, as they obviously make me realise that I value the life of your child far greater than I do of my own life. Before you started doing this, I simply slowed my own vehicle down by ramming it into the car in front of me. I shall now use my brakes and refrain from having a large rear-end collision with you in the future.