BBC News: Are Britons or …
BBC News: Are Britons or Germans the rudest? Neither. I knew a Dutch bloke who was very Ruud indeed.
Continue Reading“Trapped Miners Told To S …
“Trapped Miners Told To Sing For Their Sanity” How about “release me”?
Continue ReadingLaughing gas….. I thoug …
Laughing gas….. I thought something smelt funny
Continue ReadingI was pulled over by the …
I was pulled over by the police yesterday The cop asked if I had any marajuana in the vehicle Apparently replying with “why, how much do you need?” is neither wise nor clever……….
Continue ReadingLittle lad asks his grand …
Little lad asks his grandma how old she is, being a bit of a wise old owl she replies “To find that out sonny, you’ll have to cut me open and count the rings.” Turns out she was only 1.
Continue ReadingI don’t half feel sorry f …
I don’t half feel sorry for my mate Atlas. Every time I see him he looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Continue Reading2 flies playing football …
2 flies playing football in a saucer one says to the other “we better improve by next week cos we’ll be playing in the cup”
Continue ReadingSky News: Young brit in c …
Sky News: Young brit in coma after balcony plunge. That’s funny, last week you told us she died?
Continue Readingraisin cookies that look …
raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues
Continue ReadingI live by the writings of …
I live by the writings of the wise philosopher Heinze. It gives you a higher sense of bean.
Continue ReadingTop Tip The apex of a rub …
Top Tip The apex of a rubbish dump.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend recently di …
My girlfriend recently died, she was addicted to translucent paper. RIP Tracy.
Continue ReadingWhich country was once ru …
Which country was once run by napkins? The Serviette Union.
Continue ReadingI was standing in a night …
I was standing in a nightclub with my mate last night when he said to me, “You’ve pulled three women and I’ve pulled none. Can you give me any advice?” “You just need to be yourself,” I replied. “What do you mean?” he asked. I said, “Lose the batman costume.”
Continue ReadingMy mate dug a hole in the …
My mate dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water….I think he meant well.
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