“Jackson fans gather at 0 …
“Jackson fans gather at 02 Arena” – does anyone read the papers nowadays?
Continue ReadingMy wife was looking glum …
My wife was looking glum so I asked what was wrong. “I just want to hear you say you love me” she sighed. So I said, “You love me”
Continue ReadingSky News: “New Lead In Ca …
Sky News: “New Lead In Case Of Limbless Body” Someone has come forward to give the police a much needed hand to get ahead and solve the case. Small chance of finding the killer though. Probably legged it. I tell you what though, I’m stumped.
Continue ReadingWhen my laptop starts pla …
When my laptop starts playing up and is running slow, I know it’s because its been running for hours and is over heated.. So being a loving and caring owner of my laptop, I open another Window.
Continue ReadingI could count with the fi …
I could count with the fingers on one hand the number of times I’ve been called a useless Maths teacher. As long as those fingers were operating a calculator.
Continue ReadingMy friend Jack Hughes wen …
My friend Jack Hughes went to France, but whenever he introduced himself to people they got all defensive.
Continue ReadingA guy in the army sends h …
A guy in the army sends his wife back home a grenade with a note attached to it. “My love, if you miss me so much, pull this pin and I can come home for one week.”
Continue ReadingI don’t believe in cryoge …
I don’t believe in cryogenic freezing as a punishment. It will only produce more hardened criminals.
Continue ReadingI was relaxing on holiday …
I was relaxing on holiday in Spain when I heard a woman scream, “Please help, my son has got his foot stuck in the swimming pool.” I thought to myself, “Wow, how big are his feet?”
Continue ReadingLifts get me down sometim …
Lifts get me down sometimes.
Continue ReadingI told my mate that my wi …
I told my mate that my wife was pregnant. He said he didn’t think I had it in me. I don’t think he understands how babies are made.
Continue ReadingI got stopped by some you …
I got stopped by some young guy yesterday in the street and he said “what is you?” I replied, “A vowel”.
Continue ReadingI was watching the wire l …
I was watching the wire last night. It was more entertaining than what was on the telly connected to it.
Continue ReadingPaddy is on the radio doi …
Paddy is on the radio doing a live quiz, and the presenter asks Paddy for 100, can you tell me, who was the first woman on earth? Paddy is quiet for a couple of seconds, the he says Gimme a clue! ‘Go on then’ says the DJ ‘ Think of an apple’ Thats easy’ replies […]
Continue ReadingSickipedia – The only pla …
Sickipedia – The only place where your crimes against humanity are outweighed by your comic ability.
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