My girlfriend is still hu …
My girlfriend is still hung up over her ex. I’m hoping the police will think she stabbed him to death before committing suicide.
Continue ReadingUnder instructions from m …
Under instructions from my boss, I’m setting up my own home office. The first thing I’m going to do is crack down on young offenders and sort out the immigration problem.
Continue ReadingIve got that many train s …
Ive got that many train sets I’ve lost track.
Continue ReadingYou know how your mother …
You know how your mother always used to tell you to “break in new shoes”? Yeah well, I think the people who rioted in London last month took that term a little loosely.
Continue ReadingAfter winning a race, a j …
After winning a race, a jockey was found to have given his animal drugs, and was disqualified. I bet that took him off his high horse.
Continue Reading“Ancestry.com – Who will …
“Ancestry.com – Who will you discover?” My ancestors?
Continue ReadingI took a tablet earlier t …
I took a tablet earlier that made me turn green and grow wings. I think it was a Parakeetamol.
Continue ReadingApparently Belsprout has …
Apparently Belsprout has killed 29 people in germany… and i though it was useless
Continue ReadingIf you’ve failed your exa …
If you’ve failed your exams, don’t panic. You do have a number of options. Perhaps an overdose or jumping in front of a train.
Continue ReadingWhy did my sister quit be …
Why did my sister quit being a Jehovah’s witness? She got knocked up.
Continue ReadingI have just been down to …
I have just been down to the Dale Farm Bureau de change. They do an excellent rate on travellers cheques.
Continue ReadingJust went outside and got …
Just went outside and got hit on the head with a lasagne and a black forest gateux. Must be the fallout from iceland.
Continue ReadingHow can you tell your Pri …
How can you tell your Priest may need to be reported to the Vatican? There’s a glory hole in the confessional.
Continue ReadingAnyone else see the irony …
Anyone else see the irony in tramps drinking Tenants?
Continue ReadingI’m glad my Facebook isn’ …
I’m glad my Facebook isn’t a real book. Many of the pages would be stuck together by now.
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