I arrived home from the hospital this morning to inform my wife of the disturbing news that I had been diagnosed with a highly malignant and ultimately fatal type of blood cancer. Like a woman possessed, she forced me onto the couch, tearing at my clothes and straddled me, making earthmoving, rampant love to me […]
Continue ReadingI’m good at polishing my watch. It’s my time to shine
Continue ReadingWomen, I wish to thank you for placing those “Child On Board” stickers in the back of your cars, as they obviously make me realise that I value the life of your child far greater than I do of my own life. Before you started doing this, I simply slowed my own vehicle down by […]
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a black man after plastic surgery? A re-formed criminal
Continue ReadingI sat there with a smile on my face as my girlfriend wrapped her hand around it and started to tug at it. An even bigger smile when she gave it a little wiggle and started moving it around. I couldn’t contain myself when she started using two hands, so I eventually laughed out: “Here, […]
Continue ReadingMy mate has just asked me for advice on how to move a boulder. I told him to shove it.
Continue ReadingMy wife keeps going in the loft. I think she must be coming down with something…..
Continue ReadingMy mate just texted me saying, “I wanna read a book. Wat wud you recommend?” “The Oxford English Dictionary” I replied.
Continue Reading“When I grow up I want to be a tree.” said my adopted Chinese daughter. “Don’t be a sap Ling” I replied.
Continue ReadingWhat have been holding communication together between blacks and whites? ,,You have the right to remain silent”.
Continue ReadingSometimes I wish I was black . . . Kinda rules out being Ginger.
Continue ReadingThe drunk rushed up the stairs to the fifth floor of a building and threw himself out of a window. Not surprisingly, a crowd gathered around him as he lay on the pavement. A policeman dashed to the spot and knelt beside the man, ‘What happened?’ ‘Don’t ask me,’ said the drunk. ‘I only just […]
Continue ReadingAnyone else in the UK noticed the new Tango slogan… Tango With Added Tango Now look at the left column of letters…
Continue ReadingMy mate said to me, “I want to tell my new girlfriend that her feet stink, but I don’t know what to say.” I said, “I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.”
Continue ReadingMy wife just caught me throwing snails at our son. I’m now in trouble for child molluscation.
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