My mates are crazy. They …
My mates are crazy. They think that there are blood sucking parasites living on the moon. Lunar ticks.
Continue ReadingMy wife asked me to dazzl …
My wife asked me to dazzle her! So I waited till she was driving and she crashed in to a wall.
Continue ReadingIn a desperate attempt to …
In a desperate attempt to impress my new girlfriend, I decided to show off by naming all the elements in the periodic table, but she wasn’t impressed. I guess I lacked the Chemistry.
Continue ReadingI took my pet pig to the …
I took my pet pig to the vet’s today. Turns out he has pulled a hamstring.
Continue Reading13 July. 1985 Live Aid. A …
13 July. 1985 Live Aid. An amazing concert, an incredible achievement, finally solving Africa’s problems once and for all.
Continue ReadingEver since I got a job wo …
Ever since I got a job working for the US government I’ve been in the best shape of my life. The Pentagon
Continue ReadingI’ve just had an Irish co …
I’ve just had an Irish coffee. Tea.
Continue ReadingI saw a horse with a larg …
I saw a horse with a large pointed bone sticking out of its head. Maybe it’s a unique horn.
Continue ReadingI was milking some cows t …
I was milking some cows today. I got most of their money before they noticed the cards were marked.
Continue ReadingI grew up in an Orphanage …
I grew up in an Orphanage. It was nothing to write home about.
Continue ReadingAccusations that I let my …
Accusations that I let my wife dictate too much of my life are way wide of the mark. I’ve been my own master from the moment she said “he does”.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend asked me, ” …
My girlfriend asked me, “Do You believe in love at first sight”? I said, “At the first sight of what”?
Continue ReadingComic Relief; because see …
Comic Relief; because seeing people less fortunate than us is funny.
Continue ReadingChapstick. Posh men’s ban …
Chapstick. Posh men’s banter.
Continue ReadingCheese- milk’s leap towar …
Cheese- milk’s leap towards immortality.
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