Sometimes I like to cover myself in vaseline and pretend I’m a slug.
I’ve just got my first job interview in two years! Until then I’m going to have to sign on.
The picture of my barren family farm was depressing So I cropped it
There are people who believe the earth is a square on every corner of the globe
My mate’s a big Robot Wars fan. He’s built an incredible machine, but he’s got no one to battle with, so he just attacks random things in his mum’s house. It defeats the object.
So today’s news stated that “the spice turmeric used in curries can help the battle against cancer” It’s called kormatherapy
“As I approached the junction I looked both ways for a motorbike. Having not seen any bikes I proceeded to pull out. The advert didn’t say anything about cars, Your honour”
What do you call an impatient waiter? An Oxymoron
I was reading a scary book today but it kept trying to get away from me. Spineless git.
I had one of those plastic bin liners posted through my door today asking for unwanted clothes for charity. It’s great for storing all those bin liners for unwanted clothes for charity.
The skateboard. The preferred mode of transport for people who have nowhere to be.
I pushed a farmers pig off the road away from an oncoming car today. Really saved his bacon.
Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker… I used to look up to him…
One of the more famous time-travel related theories is called “The Grandfather Paradox”. What it basically means is: if you go back in time to a period when your grandfather is still very young, and you kill him, then you are supposed to vanish — because if your grandfather is dead, it means one of […]
Just seen a beautiful girl with no hair walking through town.. That’s a pretty bold statement.