Sometimes I like to cover …
Sometimes I like to cover myself in vaseline and pretend I’m a slug.
Continue ReadingI’ve just got my first jo …
I’ve just got my first job interview in two years! Until then I’m going to have to sign on.
Continue ReadingThe picture of my barren …
The picture of my barren family farm was depressing So I cropped it
Continue ReadingThere are people who beli …
There are people who believe the earth is a square on every corner of the globe
Continue ReadingMy mate’s a big Robot War …
My mate’s a big Robot Wars fan. He’s built an incredible machine, but he’s got no one to battle with, so he just attacks random things in his mum’s house. It defeats the object.
Continue ReadingSo today’s news stated th …
So today’s news stated that “the spice turmeric used in curries can help the battle against cancer” It’s called kormatherapy
Continue Reading“As I approached the junc …
“As I approached the junction I looked both ways for a motorbike. Having not seen any bikes I proceeded to pull out. The advert didn’t say anything about cars, Your honour”
Continue ReadingWhat do you call an impat …
What do you call an impatient waiter? An Oxymoron
Continue ReadingI was reading a scary boo …
I was reading a scary book today but it kept trying to get away from me. Spineless git.
Continue ReadingI had one of those plasti …
I had one of those plastic bin liners posted through my door today asking for unwanted clothes for charity. It’s great for storing all those bin liners for unwanted clothes for charity.
Continue ReadingThe skateboard. The prefe …
The skateboard. The preferred mode of transport for people who have nowhere to be.
Continue ReadingI pushed a farmers pig of …
I pushed a farmers pig off the road away from an oncoming car today. Really saved his bacon.
Continue ReadingBefore my father died he …
Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker… I used to look up to him…
Continue ReadingOne of the more famous ti …
One of the more famous time-travel related theories is called “The Grandfather Paradox”. What it basically means is: if you go back in time to a period when your grandfather is still very young, and you kill him, then you are supposed to vanish — because if your grandfather is dead, it means one of […]
Continue ReadingJust seen a beautiful gir …
Just seen a beautiful girl with no hair walking through town.. That’s a pretty bold statement.
Continue Reading