I’m a bit like Marmite re …
I’m a bit like Marmite really… …the unwanted by-product of alcohol.
Continue ReadingI lost fifty quid on a fr …
I lost fifty quid on a fruit machine today. Stupid really because it was never going to win the race.
Continue ReadingFriends Reunited.com: the …
Friends Reunited.com: the most efective way to find all your old school mates……… And kill them.
Continue ReadingI want to say that Van Ni …
I want to say that Van Nistelrooy is the greatest striker of my generation. But that would be Ruud.
Continue ReadingMy local corner shop clai …
My local corner shop claims to be offering a free abacus with every purchase, but I wouldn’t count on it.
Continue ReadingI bought a baseball cap t …
I bought a baseball cap today, but every time i put it on my head it rolls off.
Continue Reading“Its a small world” I sai …
“Its a small world” I said as I spun my new desktop globe.
Continue ReadingI didn’t know the answer …
I didn’t know the answer to the exam question “What is plagiarism?” So I just copied off the bloke next to me.
Continue ReadingI took my girlfriend into …
I took my girlfriend into a florist’s, picked up a bunch of flowers and said, “I’m sorry I cheated on you.” She managed to break out into a little smile. I then put them down, grabbed her hand and walked out again. She said, “Erm.. Aren’t you going to buy me a bunch then?” “No. […]
Continue ReadingMy mother in law drowned …
My mother in law drowned yesterday Apparently she isn’t a Witch after all.
Continue ReadingWhats black, white and re …
Whats black, white and red all over? Half a badger
Continue ReadingTried to help my daughter …
Tried to help my daughter with a science project, but wound up making a big meth.
Continue ReadingLike many people, I had n …
Like many people, I had no idea what to do after I left school. But after thinking about it for a while, I decided to go home.
Continue ReadingAfter years of trying to …
After years of trying to damage a Bath Toy. I’ve finally broken my duck
Continue ReadingI’m busily revising for m …
I’m busily revising for my exam in repairing motorcycle helmets.
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