My mates a Ski instructor …
My mates a Ski instructor…. He teaches people to eat yoghurts safely.
Continue ReadingMy mates a Ski instructor…. He teaches people to eat yoghurts safely.
Continue ReadingDo I have insomnia or amnesia? I Was up all night thinking about it, but I’ve forgotten which is which.
Continue ReadingI’ve always wanted to work in a colliery, but can’t see it happening now. Never mined.
Continue ReadingWhen I got arrested for flashing in public I was so furious I took it out on my kids.
Continue ReadingMy mate was preparing something in the kitchen ‘What are you doing?’ I asked him ‘I’m making my fish pie’, he said What an idiot, I thought. Fish don’t even eat pie
Continue ReadingI was thrown out of college for cheating on my metaphysics exam. I looked within the soul of the boy sat next to me.
Continue ReadingA guy walks up to a hotel reception. The receptionship asks, “Do you have a reservation?” “Yes I do actually,” he replies looking around, “It doesn’t look nearly as nice as it did on the website.”
Continue ReadingIn today’s newspaper i read a food critic’s review of an Italian restaurant in Glasgow. Don’t think that he thought much of it though. The headline read “It’s the place to go pasta”.
Continue ReadingIf I had a Penny for everytime I forgot my wifes name. There wouldn’t be a problem in the first place.
Continue ReadingThis man told me that he had finally finished a 10 year sentence. To which I replied “Learn some punctuation, man”
Continue ReadingWhen Apple update the software on one of their products do they call it an iPatch?
Continue ReadingThe Murphys are giving their first dinner party in their posh new house. Once most of the guests have left, Mrs. Murphy asks her neighbour if she did everything correctly. “It was perfect,” says the neighbour, “well almost: there were no sugar tongs.” “Sugar tongs?” “Well,” says the neighbour, “when the men go to the […]
Continue Readingroses are red violets are blue in soviet russia poem write you
Continue Readingcomic relief making famine even more funny
Continue ReadingLast night I dropped a bottle of wine and three beers. I can’t handle my drink.
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