“Well, I’ve seen it all n …
“Well, I’ve seen it all now.” I said. Switching off the internet for the last time.
Continue ReadingMy father gave me my firs …
My father gave me my first condom. Sadly, he was wearing it at the time.
Continue ReadingI’ve just emptied the wif …
I’ve just emptied the wife’s tank of fish, She parked in the river again.
Continue ReadingIf a orphan goes into KFC …
If a orphan goes into KFC are they allowed to buy a family bucket?
Continue ReadingMy career as a plumber we …
My career as a plumber went down the drain.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a group …
What do you call a group of black people trekking around the north pole? The Arctic Monkeys.
Continue ReadingA couple of years ago we …
A couple of years ago we had a big family party at my Uncle Tims house At this party was a giant buffet which included this giant chocolate cake At the end of the buffet, half of this delicious cake was left I looked over at my grandfather who had a big smile on his […]
Continue ReadingJust got a new job as a p …
Just got a new job as a professional referee. So my mate bought me a whistle as a gift. First day I blew it.
Continue ReadingIf it had been me that ha …
If it had been me that had won the 161 million then I wouldn’t just sponsor a child, I’d buy a whole country. Turns out I only had three numbers but that was enough to buy South Africa and get a Big Mac anyway.
Continue ReadingDiving into the jacuzzi a …
Diving into the jacuzzi always lands me in hot water.
Continue ReadingChris Waddle on ESPN foll …
Chris Waddle on ESPN following Tomas Rosicky’s penalty miss. ‘It was a fantastic strike! He couldn’t have struck it any better, sheer power!’ Yeah Chris, just like Italia ’90 eh?
Continue ReadingNice to hear that the tea …
Nice to hear that the teachers still do physical education.
Continue ReadingMy next door neighbour ha …
My next door neighbour has got a sick sense of humour. He chopped up a pig and hid the parts around the garden and made his son search for them. Pork Hunt.
Continue ReadingMy wife was driving us ho …
My wife was driving us home weaving all over the road and fiddling with the radio. I cried “Focus woman, Focus. For Christ’s sake Focus” Pointless, She still hit it and the Corsa parked behind.
Continue ReadingChristmas is certainly in …
Christmas is certainly in the air. I guess my kids’ presents burned real good then.
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