What do you get if you cr …
What do you get if you cross a human with a dog? Arrested
Continue Readingpicking up paper with sci …
picking up paper with scissors, thats something they wont teach you in physics.
Continue ReadingLast night on the drink, …
Last night on the drink, I jokefully boxed my friend Jamal. Just checking the UPS tracker, apparently he’s on his way home now.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Inmates could g …
BBC News: Inmates could get phones in cells Isn’t that why they call them cell phones?
Continue ReadingI was sitting on the bus …
I was sitting on the bus when a guy sat in front of me. I felt rather uncomfortable as he started staring at me. So I said to him, “Excuse me mate, do you mind not sitting on my lap?”
Continue ReadingDad: “Son,you wanna come …
Dad: “Son,you wanna come along to the taylors to get ready for your sister’s wedding?” Son:”No dad.” Dad:”Well suit yourself then.”
Continue ReadingI tried 3 way head today. …
I tried 3 way head today. It was ok but 4 for a toothbrush is a bit much.
Continue ReadingI have a foot fetish. Any …
I have a foot fetish. Anything measuring exactly 12 inches really turns me on.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend complains s …
My girlfriend complains she never comes first with me I think someone takes go-karting a bit seriously
Continue ReadingWhy is your mum so fat? …
Why is your mum so fat? Every time she swallows, I buy her a cake.
Continue ReadingI’m so sick of having to …
I’m so sick of having to give things up for lent that I don’t do it anymore.
Continue ReadingI’ve just finished teachi …
I’ve just finished teaching my fourteen year old dog how to suck me off… That kind of blows that old saying up in the air.
Continue ReadingI handed in my resignatio …
I handed in my resignation today, and I can’t tell you how difficult it was. I’ve never had a job.
Continue ReadingMy wife told me I was imm …
My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up… So guess who is not allowed in my tree-house now!
Continue ReadingI’ve not been having much …
I’ve not been having much luck with the ladies lately. This week I’ve already had two pick me out of the line up!
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