How long do you have to b …
How long do you have to be on failblog before life simply becomes “abortion fail?”
Continue ReadingThe people of Gaza don’t …
The people of Gaza don’t appreciate my malapropisms. They’re such Palestines.
Continue ReadingAs I lay in bed with Pope …
As I lay in bed with Pope Benedict last night he was telling me what a beautiful child he thinks I am and how how much he loves me. I was really touched.
Continue ReadingSporting Lisbon finish 4t …
Sporting Lisbon finish 4th in the Portuguese Liga. But I thought the nice guys finish last?
Continue ReadingWas chatting with an Amer …
Was chatting with an American bloke the other day. Got sick of him bragging about how New York is the best city in the world so i told him: ‘You do know that New York was founded by Dutch colonies right? He said; ‘don’t you mean found?’ No Founded. To which he replied in a […]
Continue ReadingNecrophilia is a fatal at …
Necrophilia is a fatal attraction.
Continue ReadingMy friend said he beat a …
My friend said he beat a guy to death with his bare hands. I’m wondering, how did he get a pair of bare hands?
Continue ReadingSay what you like about m …
Say what you like about my wife, but she certainly knows her place. Ever since I bought her that new bookmark.
Continue Readingif you look at the sky to …
if you look at the sky tonight, the moon is going to be at its reddest tonight at 23.43.If you miss that you can also look up at 00.43 and catch it at Sky+1
Continue ReadingI’ve just finished conver …
I’ve just finished converting the engine on my car to go really fast on bubbly chocolate bars. It’s Aero-Dynamic.
Continue ReadingI’m hoping to raise some …
I’m hoping to raise some cash with my “levitating vault” trick.
Continue ReadingAnother Facebook fail; Al …
Another Facebook fail; Alexander:Just finished eating a raw chicken breast, no sweat. Looks like someone owes me $20. *Cale: you’re gonna die dude, salmonella for sure. *Alexander: I ate chicken, not salmon, dude.
Continue ReadingA fire near where I live …
A fire near where I live took fifty Firemen to put out. Might have been quicker to use Water.
Continue ReadingConsistently innovative a …
Consistently innovative and exciting, the London International Mime Festival returns….Now you’re talking
Continue ReadingWhats the difference betw …
Whats the difference between hitler and sickipedia? Hitler liked duplicates
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