I told a policeman that I …
I told a policeman that I think I am allergic to them. He said, “Why’s that?” I said, “Well every time I have contact with a cop I break out in rashers.”
Continue ReadingI took up fencing the oth …
I took up fencing the other day. The neighbour wasnt too happy though.
Continue ReadingSubmitting a joke here is …
Submitting a joke here is like making a baby. You fire about 300,000,000 of your little fellas, but only one gets through every few years.
Continue ReadingI push my tongue inside a …
I push my tongue inside and pause, luxuriating in the taste. The sweet nectar plays on my tongue, and I swallow greedily… How do you eat a Dairy Milk Caramel?
Continue ReadingTo say I am the lowest of …
To say I am the lowest of the low would be an understatement.
Continue ReadingJunkers posted: Heres one …
Junkers posted: Heres one for you. 1. ——————————————————————————————————————————————– If you liked that one, I think you’ll like this one too. 1. 2.
Continue ReadingA Rabbit’s foot is consid …
A Rabbit’s foot is considered good luck. A Camel’s toe is considered really good luck.
Continue ReadingI sometimes like to go in …
I sometimes like to go into Asda and buy the smallest, cheapest single item can find. When I get to the till, and they ask me would I like some help with my packing, I always say yes.
Continue ReadingIf I had a penny for ever …
If I had a penny for everytime I picked up a penny, I’d have the same amount of money as I have now
Continue ReadingJust been to the local ju …
Just been to the local jumble sale. Or “Primark” as the wife likes to call it.
Continue ReadingI gave my missus a right …
I gave my missus a right pasting today. Serves her right for getting in the way whilst I’m wallpapering.
Continue ReadingWhy is it that around 4pm …
Why is it that around 4pm GMT the average IQ on this site plummets?
Continue ReadingI was in the shoe shop wa …
I was in the shoe shop wanting to buy a pair of trainers. When I found a pair that I liked, I asked the guy if they had any in size 9. He said, “Sorry mate, we only have size 8, will that do?” I said, “Yeah that’s perfect, I was planning to go home […]
Continue ReadingBefore entering a restaur …
Before entering a restaurant, I seen a sign at the door saying, “Sports jackets may be worn here, but not trousers”. I thought it was a bit weird, but went ahead and took them off anyway.
Continue ReadingI thought Jade Goody dyin …
I thought Jade Goody dying was the reason for sever crashing. No such luck!!!!
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