There’s too many fat bird …
There’s too many fat birds where I live… I’m moving to Finland!
Continue ReadingMy old man always told me …
My old man always told me to fight my corner. That was good advice, but my boxing career was short lived.
Continue ReadingZombies….if you can’t b …
Zombies….if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.
Continue ReadingIs it just me, or does th …
Is it just me, or does three black women dancing in front of a white screen not make one the best music videos of all time?
Continue ReadingWow that self testing exa …
Wow that self testing examination for testicular cancer has really taken off with the Chavs..
Continue ReadingCALENDAR FACT: All the se …
CALENDAR FACT: All the seasons are named after coils of metal. Except Winter and Summer. And Autumn.
Continue ReadingI fancied a pint so I tho …
I fancied a pint so I thought I’d try The Not Inn. It was shut.
Continue ReadingNot happy whatsoever, not …
Not happy whatsoever, not once in all the Harry Potter films did i see a ”dont try this at home” message. Suddenly my daughter thinks shes found ”the bomb” because shes married to ”the chosen one” and to top it off hes ginger!! suppose his mother Dianna was killed in a ”car crash”
Continue ReadingI used to be the best at …
I used to be the best at fighting down at the allotments, But then I took a marrow to the knee.
Continue ReadingTo be, or not to be. (I t …
To be, or not to be. (I think you should be.) That is suggestion.
Continue ReadingI was so disappointed aft …
I was so disappointed after travelling all that way to see The Great Wall of China. It wasn’t made of china at all.
Continue ReadingA lesson life has taught …
A lesson life has taught me: Go for Gold Settle for Silver
Continue ReadingMichael Jackson’s doctor …
Michael Jackson’s doctor has been found guilty of manslaughter today. It was a thriller, but they found out he was bad, and eventually told him to beat it.
Continue ReadingA man is swimming in the …
A man is swimming in the sea when suddenly a gigantic whale comes to the surface, opens its mouth and swallows him whole. The man arrives in the whale’s enormous stomach and is surprised to see a great white shark in there with him. He says to the shark, “Hey, you’re a shark – why […]
Continue ReadingNoone wins man of the mat …
Noone wins man of the match for Brighton. They could’ve at least given it to somebody!
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