the look on my sisters face when she opens her hair clippers and oxygen canister tomorrow will be interesting. but when i explain its the foundation of a free trip to disneyland she wont be as disappointed.
Continue ReadingI’m making loads more money since I turned my bait shop into a sushi restaurant.
Continue ReadingI just knocked on my neighbours door and said, “Do you have a black cat?” She said, “Yes we do”. I said, “No you don’t”.
Continue ReadingThe Sims: For when life just isn’t boring enough.
Continue ReadingYahoo News – “Teen Shot Dead In South London Is Named” And I thought I had a bad name.
Continue ReadingI won an award for laziness last week. My mother picked it up on my behalf.
Continue ReadingThey say Google is the most powerful search engine in the world so I thought I’d test this by searching: ‘Hard working honest black male’ Not so powerful now, are you google?
Continue ReadingI heard about that woman’s body that was found after she had been missing for several days… At least the family now know where she’s wheelie bin.
Continue ReadingWhoever said money doesn’t make you happy obviously hasn’t ever played a game of monopoly
Continue ReadingI was watching this medical show where they said people with far too much metal in their diet often have a poor vocabulary and struggle to use abstract terms in the correct context. “How interesting,” I thought, as I ate another iron magnet. It tasted irony.
Continue ReadingI was called into my son’s school by his headmaster. He said, “I’m afraid to say, Mr Jones, it’s clear to see that you completed Oscar’s Geography coursework for him.” “Oh dear,” I replied. “What gave it away? Is it because it’s of a higher standardthan his usual work?” “Not really,” said the headmaster. “It’s […]
Continue ReadingOn my first day of pre-school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery…… There I was…all alone…. surrounded by trees and bushes.
Continue ReadingI really don’t know why they put “Please sit down to pee” signs in this toilet. I did, and most of it didn’t even make it up to the bowl.
Continue ReadingI was fired from my job selling amplifiers. I just didn’t achieve the sufficient volume of sales.
Continue ReadingWhat do Vampires have for a quick snack. Clot Noodle.
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