What’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between the 7 dwarfs and a girls hockey team? one’s a bunch of cunning little runts…
Continue ReadingMy son was having a bit o …
My son was having a bit of a tantrum this morning and Im ashamed to say I over-reacted a bit. I put him up for adoption.
Continue Readingwhat’s a sheep’s definiti …
what’s a sheep’s definition of pain? A black welshman
Continue ReadingI’ve written a book on ho …
I’ve written a book on how to cut onions. Read it and weep.
Continue ReadingThe waiter brought me a f …
The waiter brought me a floret of broccoli. I said, “sorry, I thought it was ‘All You Can Eat’ for 3 here.” The waiter replied, “that IS all you can eat for 3 here.”
Continue ReadingMy wife made a cutting re …
My wife made a cutting remark. “You’ve stabbed me”.
Continue ReadingIf a cow laughed, would m …
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose ?
Continue ReadingI heard a woman in Burger …
I heard a woman in Burger King saying to her son, “Always chew your food fifteen times.” What a ridiculous name for a child!
Continue ReadingJust imagine the outrage …
Just imagine the outrage if animals were forced to work. Cats could get 9 pensions, while dogs would get 7 holidays a year.
Continue ReadingThose safety matches ain’ …
Those safety matches ain’t very safe at all. I threw a lit one at the curtains today and my house almost burnt down.
Continue ReadingI read today that a young …
I read today that a young school girl made 100 an hour busking on the streets of London. That’s almost as much as a parking meter would make!
Continue ReadingI think my dog might be b …
I think my dog might be blind. He keeps barking up the wrong tree.
Continue ReadingFor a plumber, a flush be …
For a plumber, a flush beats a full house.
Continue ReadingTo anyone unable to see a …
To anyone unable to see a light at the end of the tunnel , I say be patient. And stay out of tunnels.
Continue ReadingMy mate bought an old tra …
My mate bought an old tranny van today… It used to be a woman.
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