I have a friend who’s hal …
I have a friend who’s half Indian. Ian.
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We found a really deep hole earlier and my mate asked, “Do you think there’s water at the bottom?” I said, “Well…”
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I’ve just been arrested for grooming several kids. The farmer took exception to the hairstyle I gave his baby goats apparently.
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I just cooked myself some dried fruit, but I had to hurry. I’ve got a hot date.
Continue ReadingMy wife said, “Do you kno …
My wife said, “Do you know that the guy next door kisses his wife four times a day, gives here roses every evening…why don’t you be like that too?” I said, “Well, I can try as long as he allows me to kiss her.”
Continue ReadingWhat is the most popular …
What is the most popular food in Africa? Dirty water.
Continue ReadingI am Still working on my …
I am Still working on my Periodic Table jokes, my 79th was pure gold but I’m hoping to reach 82 so I can get a new Pb.
Continue ReadingMy wifes lost a bit of we …
My wifes lost a bit of weight. My jeans are too loose now! she exclaimed What do you think, fatty? I gave her a belt.
Continue ReadingMy mum doesn’t see the ir …
My mum doesn’t see the irony in saying ‘Your mum’ to me as an insult.
Continue ReadingI just watched “Mutilatin …
I just watched “Mutilating Film Crew: The Director’s Cut”.
Continue ReadingGive a man a fish and he …
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish – problem solved.
Continue ReadingThere is nothing more ted …
There is nothing more tedious than having to listen to someone telling you what they dreamed of last night. Martin Luther King found that out the hard way.
Continue ReadingI was talking to a really …
I was talking to a really fit girl earlier. She said, “Okay, put the phone down.” I said, “No, you put the phone down.” She said, “You put the phone down.” “No, you put the phone down” I giggled. Anyway, it went on for about 10 minutes before I was approached by security and thrown […]
Continue ReadingI was playing chess with …
I was playing chess with my mate earlier when he moved his Castle right in the path of my Queen. Bit of a Rookie error.
Continue ReadingWhat is the is the point …
What is the is the point of learning poetic devices in school? Take a similie for example – the chances of me ever using one after my school life is about as likely as a Ferret killing a Lion with a samurai sword…
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