A contestant accused me o …
A contestant accused me of being an unfair gameshow host. Point taken.
Continue ReadingAn Apple store was broken …
An Apple store was broken into and 10,000 worth of merchandise was stolen. The police are confident they can recover both computers.
Continue ReadingWhats the worst thing abo …
Whats the worst thing about going on safari? Knowing you wasted your money on an imac.
Continue ReadingA salesman told me today …
A salesman told me today that the product I was going to buy would pay for itself in six months, so I’m going to hold off until then. I’m not stupid.
Continue ReadingIf you break the law of g …
If you break the law of gravity You will be hung….
Continue ReadingIt looked warm and dark, …
It looked warm and dark, and juicy and inviting. I wasn’t sure just what I wanted to do with it. I carefully pulled it apart with my fingers to look into it better, it was wet. I knew how great it would be if I just started eating it. But I decided on ketchup for […]
Continue ReadingI just travelled back in …
I just travelled back in time to 1985 and brought a Mars bar, or as they are known in the present day, a ‘king size’ Mars bar.
Continue ReadingI’ve decided that the tim …
I’ve decided that the time has come to cancel my twitter account. I don’t like to sound paranoid but I’m pretty sure people are following me.
Continue ReadingI arrived late at the ope …
I arrived late at the opera and as I was trying to find my seat some bloke goes, “Shhh!” “Oh, sorry,” I said. “Wouldn’t want to wake anyone up, eh?”
Continue ReadingJokes on Sickipedia are a …
Jokes on Sickipedia are a lot like children. If you start stealing them you’ll get a bad reputation.
Continue ReadingI was stuck in a lift wit …
I was stuck in a lift with Aston Villa’s Irish goalkeeper and a South American Marxist revolutionary. Touche.
Continue ReadingI just spent two hours pl …
I just spent two hours planning a day of spontaneity.
Continue ReadingI’m very happy with my go …
I’m very happy with my golf handicap. I know it’s a strangename, but Volkswagen do make a quality car.
Continue ReadingA man walks into a librar …
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on how to be rude to customers. The librarian says, “Kindly eff off, Sir, I’m only halfway through the first chapter myself.”
Continue ReadingSikipedian’s dont do ugly …
Sikipedian’s dont do ugly fake pictures about your whole life story like on Facebook or silly statements about where you are, what your doing with who later, like on Twitter but if they did it would probably be the best joke in the world
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