As I was eyeing up my las …
As I was eyeing up my last shot on the 18th hole in the golf tournament I decided to use my driver. He’s a much better player than me.
Continue ReadingI hate it when couples ha …
I hate it when couples have a little argument and the girlfriend changes her Facebook status to ‘single’. I mean, I have arguments with my parents all the time, you don’t see me changing my status to ‘orphan’.
Continue ReadingMy mate asked, “What woul …
My mate asked, “What would you do if you had Richard Branson’s money?” I said, “Probably spend it before he noticed it was missing.”
Continue ReadingYou know there’s a proble …
You know there’s a problem when the only reason you login to Facebook is to post a joke that you know will inflame 90% of your Friend List.
Continue ReadingWe all know who to blame …
We all know who to blame if Windows 7 fails
Continue ReadingA bear walks into a bar i …
A bear walks into a bar in Alaska. “Give me a … … beer,” he says. “Sure, but why the big pause?” asks the barman. “That’s my mum’s head you’ve got on the wall,” he replies.
Continue ReadingSony have created a 12 in …
Sony have created a 12 inch CD. That must be a record.
Continue ReadingI invested $1000 in some …
I invested $1000 in some American shares….. It made a lot of cents.
Continue ReadingI’ve been a happily marri …
I’ve been a happily married man for 30 years. But recently I’ve taken to hiding in the Wardrobe and watching my Step Son get changed. I’ve just come into the closet.
Continue ReadingI need to get myself a wa …
I need to get myself a watch, but I haven’t got the time
Continue ReadingMy license got suspended. …
My license got suspended. That’s the last time I leave it in a bowl of heterogeneous fluid.
Continue ReadingPulled myself a pint toni …
Pulled myself a pint tonight, It made me realise how little luck I must have with the ladies
Continue ReadingGUTTED! After being emplo …
GUTTED! After being employed by the education board to help reduce the number of under age pregnancies, I have just been fired. Apparently advising the kids at the primary school that the best way is to “get there before the hair” is inappropriate!
Continue ReadingScientists have discovere …
Scientists have discovered a new element. It’s fragile, unstable and collapses every twenty minutes. They haven’t named it yet, but I suggest Kerry Katonium.
Continue ReadingMy German mate just bashe …
My German mate just bashed out a ten second rendition of “In The Hall Of The Mountain King”. He never could resist a Blitzgrieg.
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