I went to the pub earlier. They had a new real ale on called Whitbread. I ordered a pint of it and went to the toilet. When I came back and tasted it, it was repulsive. I said to the barman, “this is rank mate, what’s wrong with it?” he replied, “that big black woman farted in it!” As you can imagine I wasn’t impressed. I went up to the woman and said “Oi! you fart in my Whitbread?” She looked at me and said, “No. I’m Tessa Sanderson.”