I took my wife of 12 years to the beach last week for a nice stroll along the sea front. As we parked, she smiled at me and said, ‘I’m so glad you’ve grown up at last and realized what’s important in life. You’ve changed darling.’ I just squeezed her hand, smiled back, then kissed her tenderly whilst leaning onto the back seat to cover up my bucket and spade with the backseat blanket