I said to the cops, “I’d like to report my hat as lost.”
“Where did you have it last?”
“It was on my hatstand.”
“And is this hatstand at your home?”
“No, the hatstand is missing too.”
“Sir, have you checked your house yet?”
“No. I lost the house as well. I think my wife may have it though.”
“Excuse me sir. I think you need a solicitor, not the police.”