I coach a schoolboy footb …

children

I coach a schoolboy football team. In today’s match, and the very last kick of the game, our goalkeeper let the ball through his legs and gave away the goal that cost us the match.
After the game he came over and said, “Sorry, coach, I should have kept my legs shut.”
I said, “It’s not your fault, Jimmy. It’s your mother who should have kept her legs shut.”

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