So far in my new job, I’v …
So far in my new job, I’ve saved two babies from certain death. The head of the abortion clinic has given me my final warning.
Continue ReadingSo far in my new job, I’ve saved two babies from certain death. The head of the abortion clinic has given me my final warning.
Continue ReadingExpress and Star: “The national jobless total jumped by 27,000 in three months However, in Kidderminster there were a slight fall of 3.8 percent…” Judging by that grammar its going to be 27,001 soon…
Continue ReadingEveryone in my office was really hot this afternoon. I probably shouldn’t have had that fifth beer at lunchtime.
Continue ReadingWhat job did they give to the Thalidomide girl? Shorthand typing!
Continue ReadingI called my boss this morning and said, “Sorry, but I’m going to be a bit late.” “How late?” “24 hours.”
Continue ReadingMy first night working as a bouncer didn’t last long… As soon as I got there they showed me the door.
Continue ReadingI’m depressed and I hate my job. Every day I ask myself “is it really worth it?” Mind you, I am an antiques dealer.
Continue ReadingGirls didn’t seem that impressed when I told them I work at a fishery, guiding anglers towards the best places to fish. So now I just tell them I’m a casting director.
Continue ReadingHeskey is like the tech guy at a work night out… Never going to score, but still goes just to show face.
Continue ReadingI gathered a crowd round me and said to one of them, “Ok, pick a card, any card.” That was my first and last day working for Clintons.
Continue ReadingI haven’t been in work in four days. I’ve almost forgotten how to play solitaire and minesweeper.
Continue ReadingMy missus asked me why I am always wasting my time watching the TV. She thinks I should go and find a job so we can get the electric turned back on.
Continue ReadingA Union boss is telling his son a bedtime story “Once upon a time and a half….”
Continue ReadingI opened a small accountancy practice which I named ‘Counts’. Business was pretty poor until I realised that the ‘o’ had fallen off the sign outside the office.
Continue ReadingI was out playing golf yesterday when my boss rang to ask why I wasn’t at work. I said “I’m on a course.” He replied “Oh, that’s okay then.”
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