Category: work

I have to stay on the right side of my boss, not because he’s got a temper, he’s just deaf in his left ear.

I used to work as a croupier, until I broke my arm. I found it hard to deal with.

In my job I’m used used to seeing hot screaming women, I’m a fireman.

I shaved a hedgehog today… It was pointless.

Mini workers were laid off recently. It’s ok,they’ll always be welcome at the chocolate factory.

My wife drove me to work today and dropped me off at the construction site. She said: “Make sure you wear your helmet!” I replied: “It’s a bit late for that, we’re here now”

My former employer phoned me up the other day and said he really needed my expertise once again. They had a problem with one of their machines and they had tried everything possible to try and solve it, but to no avail. Reluctantly I took the job. I spent a whole day studying the problem. […]

I was walking through town earlier, when I saw a window of opportunity. I don’t know why I bother looking in the job centre really.

My boss had just given me a big raise on account of my improved productivity in the last week. Thanks Sickipedia v3.

I used to have a job working backstage in a strip club, it was 25 pounds an hour. I know that sounds like a lot, but i could afford it at the time.

I went for an interview the other day, The interviewer said, “Whats biggest accomplishment in your life” “Creating windows 7”, I replied. Try turning that down Currys.

My first day in my new office job didn’t go too well today. I think the main reason was they hadn’t actually offered me the job.

My brother likes to sing ‘When You Wish Upon A Star’. He takes the idea of a career path at McDonald’s far too seriously.

I lost my job yesterday after taking 4 days on a team building exercise that should have only taken half a day at the most. I dont think they realise how much effort went into balancing that perfect fantasy football team.

After losing three jobs in a row, my mate Steve said to me, “I’m never letting you babysit my children again”