Category: work

I’ve spent the last 2 hours confronted by armed police officers and with dozens of response vehicles parked outside. I’m glad that I only work part-time in the police canteen.

I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there’s a decimal point involved.

I got fired at work today. My boss said my communication skills were awful. I didn’t know what to say to that.

The boss came early in the morning one day and found one of his workers kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, “Is this what I pay you for?” The worker replied: “No, sir, this I do free of charge.”

Work is the result of failing to procrastinate effectively.

I may have annoyed my boss today. We were all in late anyway and looking to leave early and he told everybody to prepare not to come in tomorrow. Somebody asked how you prepare for not coming in. I suggested staying up late and drinking.

I slept in for work again today. When I got in, my boss called me into his office, shut the door and said, “If you’re this keen on having lie-ins, you’ll have plenty of them to look forward to in the near future!” What a sound guy. I’m not even going to bother setting my […]

Turned up with greasy hair smelling of BO to my job interview . Macdonalds hired me straight away

I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters. It’s shift work.

My boss tries to motivate me by saying I should treat every day like it’s my first. So I keep making mistakes.

Bit of hardwork never killed anyone. …Except my nan when i forced her to paint my house.

I wanted to be a politician and give power to the people. But the nearest I could get was to be an electrician.

Whats the difference between working at Aldi and working at McDonald’s? A degree.

My job is to sort out prisoner’s letters and packages, or blackmail as I like to call it.

Racial discrimination, it’s the only reason I work in Bradford. God I love my job in the housing department.