I am a conscientious man, …
I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned. …
Continue ReadingI am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned. …
Continue ReadingI like to put horses heads on broom handles. Its my hobby.
Continue ReadingAs a paranoid schizophrenic, I take the lift alone to my top floor apartment… I can’t handle the stares.
Continue ReadingPG movies are overrated.
Continue ReadingThe wife was countin out a load of 1p’s & 2p’s on the kitchen table, suddenly she got angry & started shoutin & cryin for no apparent reason!, I thought to myself: ‘she’s goin thru the change!!’
Continue ReadingNo rest for the wicked. Probably why I is got insomnia, innit.
Continue ReadingI lost my mobile so I retraced my steps. It didn’t help, I ran out of paper half way up.
Continue ReadingTimes are hard for plumbers, I had to take a job refitting Ronnie Corbett’s bathroom. I never thought I’d sink that low.
Continue ReadingI had a lovely meal last night. Can’t tell you what though as there’s a supper injunction in place
Continue ReadingI was out in the town this afternoon and actually caught my son shoplifting. I had no idea he was that strong.
Continue ReadingMy mates called me last night asking if I wanted to go over, have a few beers, play on the PS3 and smoke a few joints. Sounded like a good idea so I grabbed my keys, got a few joints ready then drove over there. We had a few beers then went out to his […]
Continue ReadingA mate of mine was killed in a freak accident after tripping over a jigsaw. The cause of death is unconfirmed as police are still piecing together the evidence.
Continue ReadingI was on a forum earlier and it said ‘Read 1024 times’… I thought ‘That’s an odd request’
Continue ReadingElton John- You can tell everybody this is your son.
Continue ReadingYou may not think it to look at me, but I did once take 1st place in London’s Cutest Baby awards. I would have taken 2nd as well if she didn’t start screaming.
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