Category: wordplay

Miss Piggy just asked me to marry her but I couldn’t Kermit

My wife told me I was too impatient, I said ” I haven’t got time for this.”

I couldn’t believe My Luck… I’ve never known a Chinese woman to lie so much.

I was checking my junk emails earlier when I came across one offering me free angling equipment. All they wanted was a few personal details. I hate fishing scams.

Anti psychotic drugs accidentally put into packets of Nurofen Plus! Explains why I still have a headache, but haven’t killed anyone today!

I always wanted to be a traffic cop, but I didn’t have the fine motor skills.

BBC News: Three killed when car overturns. I bet the driver flipped.

so yeah, i was ironing while listening to ‘do it like a dude’ and thought well this is ironic.

Just bought my new Gibson guitar. Strings attached.

They’ve recently opened a ladies only nightclub in my town. Well I say nightclub, it’s actually more of a whine bar.

I got held up on the motor way today because of a syrup spillage. The only good thing was that it makes a change from the usual jams!

I’m an untidy person and I just walked in to find my wife ironing my Y-fronts, Oh the irony

My wife said she’s leaving me because I am forever doubting her ability to make decisions. Ha, she doesn’t have the bottle.

It was mildly amusing at the special Olympics when the blind cheerleaders chanted … Give me an – I –

Every year Oxford and Cambridge get into a race row.