Category: wordplay

Just bought a block of cheddar…it’s destined for grateness!

I’d love to see the excitement, and then the utter disappointment, on the starving Africans faces, when the BBC are filming for Comic Relief and they tell them they are about to do a ‘live feed’.

I just bought a round green jacket with a brown stem. Its an Apple Mac.

I knew a shepherd once… He was brilliant in his field.

I’ve started selling Lions for a living. I’m doing a roaring trade at the moment.

There was a naked mental patient standing by the roundabout earlier frantically waving at drivers. If you ask me, he was a stark waving lunatic.

I thought Davy Jones was just sleeping. Then I saw his face… Now I’m a bereaver.

When he was 6 months old, my son used to ride on the London underground all day long. He was a test-tube baby.

Everytime I use my phone my ear gets wet. I think it’s been tapped.

I was meant to catch up with an old Kenyan friend today. But even at sixty, he was still too fast.

My Dad used to be pretty good at drawing. He shot my Mum dead before she’d even noticed him reach for his pistol.

I have six words for you

I love my fingers… …I always know i can count on them.

I nicked some copper wire last night. The local bobby was furious he couldn’t turn his lights on.

Which part of a man grows and grows the more you stroke it? His ego.