Category: wordplay

Give a man food and he will eat well, give a man the ingredients and he will get a women to cook it for him.

I really would kill to be a necrophiliac.

I just tried to download a tv program from the internet, but when I opened the video it was just a voice shouting obscenities at me. It was a torrent of abuse.

I’m part of the Warburtons family because I’m inter-bread.

This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club. I was confused, I’d never met herbivore.

Me and my mate went to the work fancy dress party last night when we instantly saw the office geek dressed up as one of the evil army from ‘Lord of the Rings” We saw him coming towards us and agreed we both wouldn’t speak to him. ”Hey guys!” He shouted, bounding towards us. An […]

I was helping the behavioral scientist from next door, get his trailer on the drive. “You’re doing it all wrong,” I said, “left is right and right is left.” I hate reversing a psychologist.

I don’t get all the hate for chubby chasers. Some of us just prefer performing under pressure.

I wanted to propose to my girlfriend over the phone. So I gave her a ring.

After a day of gorging myself on pies, I gained 3.14 pounds. I guess you really are what you eat.

I’ve finally discovered the meaning of life. Dictionaries are so helpful

Just bought myself a barge pole. Thought I’d push the boat out.

After being diagnosed with a terminal illness, my wife said I should get my affairs in order. So I’m seeing Anne on Monday, Christine on Tuesday and Denise on Wednesday.

Girl guide knocks on my doors and offered me cookies. I told her I couldn’t pay in cache.

Many areas in Africa are very thinly populated.