My mother-in-law suffered …
My mother-in-law suffered from terrible heart burn. I stabbed her with a red hot poker.
Continue ReadingMy mother-in-law suffered from terrible heart burn. I stabbed her with a red hot poker.
Continue ReadingWalking through town this morning I kept getting accosted by people in uniform, waving collection boxes at me while dribbling spit down their chins. God I hate the Salivation Army.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend is still hung up over her ex. I’m hoping the police will think she stabbed him to death before committing suicide.
Continue ReadingYou know how your mother always used to tell you to “break in new shoes”? Yeah well, I think the people who rioted in London last month took that term a little loosely.
Continue ReadingAfter winning a race, a jockey was found to have given his animal drugs, and was disqualified. I bet that took him off his high horse.
Continue ReadingApparently Belsprout has killed 29 people in germany… and i though it was useless
Continue ReadingWhy did my sister quit being a Jehovah’s witness? She got knocked up.
Continue ReadingMy car broke down on my way to work this morning. It was really disturbing to see it cry.
Continue ReadingHi my names Cliff. You should drop over sometime.
Continue ReadingI cheated on my wife with a gorgeous young weather-girl. My judgement was clouded.
Continue ReadingI looked out the window this morning to see that every house on the road opposite had fallen over, one by one. Police believe it was triggered by an explosion at the Domino’s pizza shop.
Continue ReadingOnce you turn 18. You can legally do all the things you’ve been doing since you were 14.
Continue ReadingI went to see The Smurfs today. It totally blue my mind….
Continue ReadingIt’s my wifes birthday coming up and she keeps going on about how bad I am at buying presents. Well this year she’s in for a rude awakening. I’m buying her a Tourettes alarm clock.
Continue ReadingPeople are always telling me to stop eating trousers. I just wish they’d cut me some slack.
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