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Category: wordplay

I was having an issue wit …

November 12qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I was having an issue wit …

I was having an issue with people copying and pasting sensitive data at work, at first I didn’t know what to do but I’ve finally taken ctrl.

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Mardy Fish has had to dro …

November 12qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Mardy Fish has had to dro …

Mardy Fish has had to drop out of Wimbledon. He was arrested for battering his wife.

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Well, the threat of Osama …

November 12qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Well, the threat of Osama …

Well, the threat of Osama has finally Bin Laden down to rest.

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There’s a new shop down m …

November 12qjoq.comLeave a Comment on There’s a new shop down m …

There’s a new shop down my street that specializes in clothing for obese people. They have a wide range of everything.

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My butler died of hearing …

November 12qjoq.comLeave a Comment on My butler died of hearing …

My butler died of hearing loss. He walked through the valet of deaf.

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Me and my mates have star …

November 12qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Me and my mates have star …

Me and my mates have started leaving bombs next to the tills in corner shops. We’re a ‘Counter Terrorist Group’.

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My mate can scale walls r …

November 11qjoq.comLeave a Comment on My mate can scale walls r …

My mate can scale walls really fast but most people want plaster not fish skin.

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My wife asked me to take …

November 11qjoq.comLeave a Comment on My wife asked me to take …

My wife asked me to take down the blinds while I was up at the window. So I shot them both in the head, sending the guide dogs fleeing the scene.

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Getting my cataracts remo …

November 11qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Getting my cataracts remo …

Getting my cataracts removed really opened my eyes.

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How do you make a dead ba …

November 11qjoq.comLeave a Comment on How do you make a dead ba …

How do you make a dead baby float? One scoop of dead baby, one scoop of ice cream, and a pint of ginger ale.

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My Dad had a stroke yeste …

November 11qjoq.comLeave a Comment on My Dad had a stroke yeste …

My Dad had a stroke yesterday. He’s all right now.

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If that emo kid next door …

November 11qjoq.comLeave a Comment on If that emo kid next door …

If that emo kid next door doesn’t stop playing the drums, there’ll be serious repercussions.

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My little sister asked me …

November 10qjoq.comLeave a Comment on My little sister asked me …

My little sister asked me what she should get for unzipping. I told her a fiver was pretty reasonable. In the end though, she just used WinZip. And stopped talking to me.

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Apparently 80% of people …

November 10qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Apparently 80% of people …

Apparently 80% of people who have cosmetic surgery are disappointed by the results. Which is a bit odd, because most of them look pleasantly surprised.

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The guy who lives on the …

November 10qjoq.comLeave a Comment on The guy who lives on the …

The guy who lives on the farm next to me just put some strange metal wire around his field. For the last few days I just couldn’t put my finger on it, and when I finally did I was shocked!

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