My 31st girlfriend was Am …
My 31st girlfriend was American and it was a bit awkward, especially in the bedroom. But then, all my other girlfriends have been about 9st – 11st.
Continue ReadingMy 31st girlfriend was American and it was a bit awkward, especially in the bedroom. But then, all my other girlfriends have been about 9st – 11st.
Continue ReadingI left my job as manager of the local one legged football team, I could never get the right balance to the side.
Continue ReadingDuring our lunch break my boss came up to me and asked me if I could attend a meeting after the buffet. I told him I had too much on my plate.
Continue ReadingHad trouble getting into the front door of my local high street pharmacy the other day. I think I’m getting too big for my Boots.
Continue ReadingThe guy who owns SpecSavers must be a very busy person, He’s got loads of Contacts…
Continue ReadingAs I was driving home yesterday, my SatNav read an alert which said: “ROAD WORKS AHEAD” How thoughtful… It’s odd how it’s never told me about a : “ROAD BROKEN AHEAD”.
Continue ReadingStudent:`Love a beer over here barman.’ Barman: `I.d. first’ Student:`I’d love a beer over here barman.’
Continue ReadingI was bored last night, so I tied some helium balloons to my whiskey collection. It certainly raised my spirits.
Continue ReadingMy wife was going to leave due to my obsession with inserting comedians surnames into sentences We’ve built some Bridges since then.
Continue ReadingThe worst part about my job in a charity shop is sorting the old woman’s knickers into clean and unclean. My works not to be sniffed at.
Continue ReadingMy mate is a DJ on a building site. He’s a concrete mixer
Continue ReadingWhat do women and loans from the bank have in common? I receive no interest from both
Continue ReadingI got arrested this morning at my veterinary surgery for wearing a black lab coat.
Continue ReadingA new prosthetics company has started up in my area that will only take payment in nuts. It will cost you an almond a leg.
Continue ReadingMy mate dared me to kidnap all the X-Factor contestants. I said I wouldn’t take The Risk.
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