Category: wordplay

My local corner shop claims to be offering a free abacus with every purchase, but I wouldn’t count on it.

I bought a baseball cap today, but every time i put it on my head it rolls off.

“Its a small world” I said as I spun my new desktop globe.

Tried to help my daughter with a science project, but wound up making a big meth.

I’m busily revising for my exam in repairing motorcycle helmets.

People who stereotype are all the same.

I recently got set up on a blind date with a fat girl. As we were eating our meal she said to me, “I bet you can’t guess what my favourite kind of food is?” “Of course I can,” I replied. “It’s a piece of cake.”

Sky news: ‘Miss USA Rocked By Strip Show Photos’ In other news: ‘Miss Afghanistan Stoned After Strip Show Photos’

They say the devil is in the detail. If thats the case,were’s the v?

I imagine that if you were to cut open an archaeopteryx, it’s stomach would be full of worms. After all, it was the earliest bird.

I was thrown out of Furniture making College for misunderstanding ‘Stool Samples’ during my Practical exam.

Please, do not make jokes about the mother and young daughter who died when their house burnt down in Swansea. I knew them personally, and they were as happy as a family could be. They were so happy together. They got on like a house on fire.

Just had a really refreshing slush puppy. Took me ages to get it into the blender but it was worth it in the end.

My sister’s always been an attention seeker. She has a fetish for sargeant majors.

It’s pretty easy to catch someone’s attention in A&E. All you have to do is snap your fingers.