Category: wordplay

As a shoplifter, I find supermarket doors alarming.

If I had a penny for every time I went to McDonald’s last month I’d have a quarter pounder.

BBC News – Type 2 Diabetes can be reversed Big deal i can reverse ageing gniega.

I was minding my own business when I thought to myself, “Maybe becoming a self-employed security guard wasn’t such a good idea.”

I always have a proper blast at work. Until they sacked me from the bomb squad.

My wife said that I don’t play with our children enough. If only she knew.

Wind turbines. I’m a big fan.

Jokes on Sickipedia are a lot like children. If you have stolen them, chances are…… they will also get buried.

When I was a child, we were very poor, so I never had any toys to play with. In fact all I had to play with was a transistor… Well, my brother in my mum’s clothes.

My wife certainly raised a few eyebrows when she started hosting Botox parties.

My mum always used to read me fairy tales before bedtime. I never had the heart to tell her they were boring just like the Dettol and Mr Sheen tales.

Even though I needed the toilet I decided to try to hold it in so I could stay at Newmarket to watch the last horse race. Number two won.

I remember one time in my footballing years when the ref sent me off for hanging from the crossbar. I was suspended for a while.

The only thing I could manage to sell on e-Bay was my car ignition. It’s a start.

Harry Redknapp and Fabio Capello couldn’t be more different. One a tax cheat the other defends one.