Category: wordplay

The definition of irony…. The drink of choice of the homeless being called Tennants.

I toss and turn for hours on end until I realize that making a salad isn’t going to relax me.

Got a strange look today from a Jeweller when I asked him for a little finger ring….

Me and a mate have been smoking herbs all night. We’re having a great thyme.

Stephen Hawking is a great orator, technically speaking.

For several years, I lived in a squat. I’ve had trouble standing upright ever since.

A lot of Asians got a bit carried away with that Tsunami

I swear my wife will be the debt of me.

BBC News – Gang groomed and abused teenagers. Well, at least they made the victims look nice before they did it.

I’ve just been admitted into a mental hospital, apparently I suffer from autism. Yesterday, one of the nurses walked by my bed: “Excuse me love, do you know when I’m getting out of here, there’s nothing wrong with me!” “Oh, not for some time I’m afraid. You have a severe case of autism where you […]

I was lucky enough to see Rooney messing about at the training pitch and he bagged a screamer. The next day it was a squirter, then a 70 year old.

I moved to America to try and make money from telling jokes but… None of them make any cents.

The wife rang me from her boat trip but the reception out at sea isn’t good so I’ll could hear was ‘syncing’ and ‘The Police.’ She always liked Sting so she must be pretty excited

Upon reaching the peak of Everest with my wife, we realised that there was only enough oxygen left for one of us to get back down. So I did the descent thing…

When is the best time to meet up with Elastoman? Anytime, because he’s flexible.