I’d give my right eye to …
I’d give my right eye to be a pirate.
Continue ReadingI’d give my right eye to be a pirate.
Continue ReadingCustomer service at my local McDonald’s is far better since they had that straw Pole. She puts out sugar and serviettes as well.
Continue ReadingTo maintain my standards I spend at least two hours a day working out. Im not in good shape or anyting, Im just really bad at maths.
Continue ReadingI’ve spent two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer….. But no one will do it.
Continue ReadingThis thing with the 33 Chilean miners stuck in a small room together underground is just like Big Brother. They’ll be boring for another two months as well.
Continue ReadingI was looking for a pair of socks but could only find one. That’s odd.
Continue ReadingI’m just off for a kick about with the lads. I’ll be right-back.
Continue ReadingMe and my mate spitroasted this bird the other day… Tastes just like chicken
Continue ReadingMy Goldfish keeps getting my name wrong. Everytime I go up to the bowl it keeps shouting, “Bob”
Continue ReadingI’ve just been up in court charged with flying my Sky-writing plane too close to the ground. The judge gave me a suspended sentence.
Continue ReadingI just bought some new scales for the bathroom, It looks like a fish now.
Continue ReadingI’ve got a faulty euro 2012 tent for sale. It hasn’t got any Poles.
Continue ReadingBBC Sport: France refuse to train after row I can sympathise, their arms must’ve been knackered
Continue ReadingI love cloning just as much as the next guy. And the next guy.
Continue ReadingA woman screamed, “No means no!” at me today. I left soon after. It was the shortest Spanish lesson I’d ever had.
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