Category: transport

My wife picked me up from work on Friday. She surprised me with a romantic weekend away in Paris. It was like a little adventure! Driving on the wrong side of the road and having people beeping their horns and shouting insults in foreign langauges. But she somehow managed to get through London and arrived […]

My wife wanted some cop roleplay last night, and I really got into it. I even gave her a parking ticket.

My boss said. “You’ve been early every day this year so far. I take it the traffic jam issues you had last year are gone?” “Yeah, I traded in my car.” “For public transport? Good man.” “For an ambulance.”

I’m one of those people who give BMW drivers a bad name. I indicate.

I can never tell whether my wife is coming or going. She still hasn’t figured out how to get the car out of neutral.

I’ve been trying to sell my car for weeks, but every potential buyer turns it down for the same reason. “Sorry mate, not interested. It’s got 50,000 miles on the clock.” “What’s wrong with that?” “It’s quarter to three.”

I hate it when my girlfriend thought i was talking about her when i was actually was talking about my car. That got us into a difficult conversation when i said that i could fit 4 guys in her and that she rides like a wild horse.

BBC Radio 2 A German train company is trying to get permission to use the Channel Tunnel so that they can transport thousands of people from Berlin to London. This leaves me two questions; 1. How many Spitfires have we got? 2. Can you fly them along the tunnel?

FOR SALE Brand new STANNA stair lift. Unwanted Christmas present All Enquiries please contact Deirdre Barlow

Did you hear that Diana was on the radio? And on the dashboard, the windscreen and the bonnet

I told my girlfriend I was off to Wales for the weekend and she asked which way I was going to get over the River Severn. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it

I ran over a child the other day in my car, he made a ‘badum’ sound when I hit him. So later I ran over a child carrying a cymbal.

Marathon runner Rob Sloan, recently admitted to cheating by catching a bus to the finish line and hiding behind a tree and waiting until the other runners came into view before claiming 3rd place. Witnesses were astonished as events unfolded as the number 336 service arrived on time.

My wife asked me to film her parking her new Smart car on my mobile phone. The battery ran out after 30 minutes.

When travelling on the motorway the other day I saw a sign which said “Pedestrians in road – Slow down” followed by a ’50’. Usain Bolt… Practices everywhere!