Category: transport

So the new Ford Focus can park itself, that’s ruined yet another one of man’s great pleasure’s “Don’t worry love, I’ll walk to the kerb from here”

Toyota’s Marketing Department are putting a positive spin on it’s recalled cars by calling it their, “Kamikaze Line.”

There’s no future in time travel.

There’s something wrong with the speed limiter on my car. She’s got a sore throat.

I’m worried about my son, he keeps asking questions about unicycles, bicycles and trikes. I think he’s bike-curious.

My boss is annoyed because I was late to work after being stopped by every red light on the route in. He says I should use brothels in my own time.

I took my hazard perception test today, it reminded me of a game I used to play on long car journeys as a child. Spot the women driver.

So they’ve landed a rover on Mars? Blimey, mine barely made it to Devon.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.

I was on the bus on the way home,just staring out of the window daydreaming,when all of a sudden it ploughed into a bus stop,killing two and injuring many more,I was in absolute shock. Im also no longer a bus driver.

Really freak people out by running up to them in the street screaming “What year is it?!” When they tell you, scream “Yes, it actually worked! Now you must help me kill the horses before it’s too late!”

My wife wants to start taking driving lessons. I’m not going to stand in her way.

Teenagers on 50cc mopeds, South London’s answer to Vuvuzelas.

One headline today said “Lorry driver ‘killed family while looking at computer’”. Brings a whole new meaning to the term browser crash.

Lift nozzle to begin fuelling. Maximum amount 99.00 Minimum delivery 2 litres. This gives me a window of about an eighth of a second.