Category: transport

I had an idea to design and build my own Helicopter. It didnt take off

My mate’s got one of those cars where you only have to fill it up to double its value. It’s a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder.

Whats the difference between Terminal 5 and Kate & Gerry McCann ? Terminal 5 loses things we care about.

I’ve had my sat-nav stolen. My life lacks all direction now.

My wife suggested we used “park and ride” today. Needless to say, I was bitterly disappointed.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when Im trying to finish a text.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

My wife was clamped today for parking on a white line. Couldn’t really argue about it a though. It was the halfway line on a football pitch.

Planes: Avoid tedious Christmas snow by going in the air.

If you are interested in Time Travel and fancy a night out, meet me down the pub last Thursday at 8pm.

I’m often afraid when travelling by train. What if they don’t remind me to take my personal belongings with me?

A woman driving is like a dog walking on its hind legs. You don’t expect it do be done well – and you are suprised to find it done at all.

I took my kids to a safari park today. They were all excited, saying, “Look daddy, look at the monkeys playing in those tyres hanging from that tree.” I said, “Calm down, kids, thats just the park – we havent left Birmingham yet.”

I tried to buy a car today. The bloke wanted five grand but I knocked him down. Then I reversed back over him to make sure he didn’t get up again.

I’ve thought up a way to make destruction derby more action packed and fun Employ only women drivers and tell them to avoid crashing