Category: time

I’ve been putting off telling my wife that I broke the expensive watch she bought me. Its never the right time.

I used to time travel as a hobby when I was older…..

I saw a billboard with a picture of a clock on it. I guess that’s a sign of the times

I bought myself a new 24 hour clock yesterday. It’s rubbish. It only lasted a day.

Raoul Moat has just been found by police. He was in Shannon Matthews’s uncle’s bed base!

I was sat in my car the other day waiting for my missus to come out of the train station. I got a text saying her train was delayed, so I put the heating on and shut my eyes. Every 20 minutes I had somebody knocking on my window asking for the time, so eventually […]

I was reading the paper in the Barbers today. Can’t believe it’s only 4 months till Christmas.

The clocks go back tonight. Problem is, im not sure where they came from

Today at work i have managed to get 8 casio watches on one wrist and 9 rolex’s on the other. I think i have to much time on my hands……

I was arranging a date with a girl who worked in the army and she asked if I could pick her up at 2200 hours. It’s now 91 days and 16 hours later and tonight is my lucky night. Hope she’s remembered.

This changing the time an hour ain’t half affected my body clock. I got my early morning erection when I was standing in the bus queue

Nothing says i’m a dyslexic cowboy than ordering a drink in a salon.

Someone get Harold Camping some drugs and some hookers and he’ll forget he ever wanted the world to end.

My mate has just offered me a share in his new time trvelling business. I had to turn him down though………i just could’nt see a future in it.

You ever have one of those nights where it’s so boring it feels like time is going backwards?