Category: stupid

It was tough seeing my wife struggling with the dishes. So I killed her.

My dad always said “If you’re going to quote, do it properly.” Something like that anyway.

Can you play Chopins Polonaise in A-flat? I can play it anywhere you want….

I took a bricklayer’s course today. He chased me down the street wanting it back.

I was over the moon when I got a new job as a supervisor. It’s not quite worked out as well as I’d hoped. All I have to do is keep the sun out of my boss’s eyes while wearing a cape.

MSN News: World’s most secret societies They’re not so secretive now if you’re revealing them then.

I seen a bank sign earlier that read 45. But it didn’t appear to be leaning that much to me.

More British banks require a bail-out. The ones in Aberystwyth, for example.

I don’t know why James Blunt thinks that his name is funny as it is used as rhyming slang. Runt isn’t even that offensive

I walked past the local newsagents last night and it was closed. Yet again there was a sign in the window saying, ‘Looking For Staff’ I thought to myself, “It’s been 3 weeks now, give up and buy a new dog.”

I went into my local T-Mobile shop the other day…… I didnt get any service

A blonde woman was talking to her friend about a first aid course she’d attended. She said, “It was a good thing I went on that course, I was coming down the street yesterday when I saw a big crash. I looked round and this bloke had been knocked down by a taxi. He was […]

Sometimes I wonder. “Why is that frisbee getting bigger?” Then it hits me.

Atheist vampires are tricky to kill. You need a copy of The Origin of Species, and a monkey.

I recently went on Dragons Den with my new popcorn and I gave the Dragons a bag each to try. Deborah Meaden tasted it and quickly said, “I’m out.” I said, “Wow that was fast. Here’s another bag fatty!”