Carlsberg don’t do Sickip …
Carlsberg don’t do Sickipedia jokes… No, honestly, I wrote to them and asked.
Continue ReadingCarlsberg don’t do Sickipedia jokes… No, honestly, I wrote to them and asked.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call an informative Geordie? FYI man.
Continue ReadingI was recently caught smuggling illegal brandy through customs at the airport. Security found the 30000 Christmas pudding’s I tried to conceal it on top of.
Continue ReadingMy son said he wanted some drum sticks for Christmas. Fair enough, KFC’s quite cheap.
Continue ReadingI got thrown out of a football game for doing monkey chants. I guess constantly shouting, “I love monkeys! I love monkeys!” would get pretty annoying.
Continue Reading‘Jamie Jones upsets Shaun Murphy at the World Snooker Championship’ He called his mum an elephant.
Continue ReadingI made a Freudian slip earlier. I threw a banana skin in front of my mate, Dave Freudian.
Continue ReadingMy mate told me that I just don’t understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time.
Continue ReadingLike Pinocchio my son isn’t real, in fact he is made of Lego. He will be in pieces when I tell him.
Continue ReadingFacebook – for hideous, fat, ugly women to deceive lads into thinking they look human.
Continue ReadingThere was an out of date pint in the fridge at work and I told them I would take it home for my cornflakes, but replace it with some fresh the next day. You can’t believe the fuss they made about it at the blood bank.
Continue ReadingI sold loads of fake t-shirts on the market today. No one noticed they were vests.
Continue ReadingI was beaten and abused by my father as a child. He always did take our garden football matches quite seriously.
Continue ReadingIt’ll take me literally a million years before I gain a sound understanding of English vocabulary.
Continue ReadingI said, “Looks like rain out”. My wife said, “What makes you say that?” I said, “It’s raining”.
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