“Why don’t you take that …
“Why don’t you take that apple to work?” asked my wife. “I didn’t even know it had a job” I replied.
Continue Reading“Why don’t you take that apple to work?” asked my wife. “I didn’t even know it had a job” I replied.
Continue ReadingMy whole world appeared to have been turned upside down. So I hung the mirror the right way up.
Continue ReadingMy wife just called me spineless. Speaking as a hedgehog undergoing chemotherapy, that hurt.
Continue ReadingLast night I thought my feet were hanging out the end of the bed, So I got out to have a look.
Continue Reading“Do you accept cards as payment?” I asked the lad in the takeaway. “Of course, Sir”, he replied, smiling. “Great”, I replied, “this one is an old birthday card.”
Continue Reading12.5cm of people hate inaccurate statistics
Continue ReadingMy old material never works with the ladies anymore, I’ll have to try something new. I was thinking cotton.
Continue ReadingThose who can’t laugh at themselves, leave the job to others.
Continue ReadingWe really should stop calling it the Eurozone. Otherwise they’ll start calling us Poundland!
Continue ReadingMy wife often says that she wants to change me. But i don’t let her. Im a big boy now and know how to use my special big boy pants.
Continue ReadingI find it really easy to fall asleep. But I tend to wake up real quickly when I land.
Continue ReadingI was watching the game with my mate and was shouting, “Shoot! Shoot!… Why didn’t he shoot?” I shook my head, “You’re just pretending that you like cricket aren’t you?”
Continue ReadingI can’t believe how stupid people were in the Middle Ages, believing in witches and magic. Now excuse me, I have to forward this email, otherwise a dead baby will kill me.
Continue ReadingWhat would Data’s evil twin be called? Corrupted Data.
Continue Reading“- Extra! Extra! Twenty eight people deceived in one city. Stunning!” I was eager to know what it was, so I bought a newspaper. The newspaper was plain blank as the newsboy immediately started to sprint while shouting: “-Extra! Twenty nine people deceived in one city. Sensational!”
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