Category: stupid

The BBC has decided to cut back on spending for deaf people. They have sacked all the people who do sign language and have just increased the volume.

I was walking up to the checkin desk at the airport when I noticed there was a bit of mistletoe hanging above the desk. I looked at the checkout girl and thought that’s a bit of ok. As I approached the desk I said “I see you’ve got a bit of mistletoe hanging there” she […]

A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence. After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it. The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined not to move in the hope that he would just go away. […]

I was going through a maze today. I must have gone the wrong way because before I knew it I was trapped. I turned around but it was a dead end. I soon realised I was stuck. I started crying and screaming for help. It was at this point the lady behind the counter told […]

I asked the Doctor, “Is it curable?” “I’m not too sure,” he replied after looking at the box, “I don’t know much about epoxies.”

I am blonde, and I am sick of brunettes making blonde jokes. I have a really good joke about two brunettes walking into a bar. But can someone please help? There are loads of boxes but I can’t find the box to put the punch-line in.

One of my garden tools is sleeping with everything it sees. What a hoe!

If there’s any three things in life guaranteed, they’re death, taxes and my wife, twenty minutes into Rambo, asking “So when does he take up boxing?”

I was having a jog on the beach this morning, when all of a sudden the tide came in. I got to safety quickly, but my treadmill got washed away.

To all the people saying; “the clocks have went forward, there’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back.” You do realise that the clocks go back again in October?

My wife said to me “I’ve had enough, I’m taking the kids down my mums”. I said “Don’t take it out on the kids, what have they done to deserve that?”.

I was offered heroin at a party, but declined because I’m not stupid. So I just carried on sniffing glue and shoe polish.

I hate people who doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re.. Their so stupid.

I asked on Yahoo questions, “My font colour is white – how do I change it?” I can’t understand why I’ve had no answers?

The definition of stupid. Trying to sell The Big Issue outside Lidl. Know your audience.