Tesco Self-Service Checko …
Tesco Self-Service Checkouts Making shoplifting ‘a mistake’ since 2008.
Continue ReadingTesco Self-Service Checkouts Making shoplifting ‘a mistake’ since 2008.
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Continue ReadingI’ve just been to see the Tech Guys at PC world. I didn’t know until then that Tech is actually short for Technically Inept.
Continue Reading‘Hi there and welcome to Hollister! Would you like earplugs, a gas mask or a flashlight?’
Continue ReadingDon’t bother wasting money on subscribing to expensive adult web sites or calling 0898 phone numbers. Just phone your local department store and ask them to describe their latest selection of ladies’ lingerie, while masturbating furiously.
Continue ReadingI love the Buy One Get One Free offers that the supermarkets have on. I’m not greedy though, I just take the free one.
Continue ReadingA stunning blonde, in breath taking extremely tight jeans is walking down the street. A guy, looking at her with his tongue on his shoes, asks her: ‘I’m very sorry, but I just need to know… How does one ever get in those pants? ‘Well’, she said, ‘you could start with offering me a drink…’
Continue ReadingPosh Spice spent 20,000 on a crocodile handbag. Imagine wasting so much on a leathery old accessory. I’m sure David Beckham ends up asking himself the same question every day.
Continue ReadingIt doesn’t matter how old you are, you’ll always try and get your quid back by trying to bend the trolley chain round the bar.
Continue ReadingThere’s no need to go panic buying. You can create panic absolutely free by dressing up as a Paki and wearing a rucksack on the London Underground.
Continue ReadingDoes anyone ever buy items at full price from DFS?
Continue ReadingI went to Morocco on holiday. I visited one of the markets and bought a toilet roll holder. Some call it extravagant, others slavery, but Mohammed loves his new job.
Continue ReadingI was watching the TV with my nan when our numbers came up. She jumped up, and started screaming! She nearly gave herself a heart attack! That’s the last time I take her into Argos.
Continue ReadingI like to dress my son up in a red and white T-shirt and then lose him in Sainsburys. It’s like real life Where’s Wally!
Continue ReadingMe: Is it in yet? Girlfriend: No. Me: What about now? Girlfriend: No, uh, maybe we should try something else. Me: One last try. Girlfriend: No still not there. And that good people is why you should never take your girlfriend shoe shopping
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