Category: shopping

In the battle for high street supremacy, asda and tesco have bought a full row of shops between them to turn into supermarkets leaving a tiny gap between them only big enough for a charity shop. Still,i suppose there`s room for scope. Subnote: Americans please note that scope is a shop where people take unwanted […]

Want to find out what most of your Christmas presents are early? Simply look at your family and friends’ eBay feedback.

I told the wife at the weekend I would take her to town and she could look in any shop she wanted. “Really, you mean it?, absolutly any shop I want?” she asked. “Yep,not a problem” I replied. “Oooooh, your the best” she giggled. I’ve never known anyone get so excited over the prospect of […]

Its my mate’s birthday tomorrow and he’s got to spend the day on the Customer Service desk at Marks & Spencers. I wished him many happy returns.

Sainsbury’s told me today to ‘Take an old bag shopping’ I’d love to but I try to keep her locked in the kitchen.

Why does Poundland have security guards?

You can get all sorts of stuff on the Amazon website. I even came across a lost tribe the other day.

A girl in Superdrug was giving me a really good signal. 50% extra free and minty fresh.

Whenever I am suffering from low self esteem and think that life is not dealing me a fair hand, I like to go shopping in ASDA. It never fails to cheer me up.

I was in Tesco’s today queuing for the self service checkout. I couldn’t believe it when the computer asked the black guy in front of me “have you swiped your clubcard?” I’m not sure what was more surprising, the fact the computer knew he was black and therefore asked him whether he had stolen his […]

What is the difference between Andy Carroll and a weeks worth of shopping at Waitrose? About 40p.

I was standing in the queue today in Asda and a voice announced, “Checkout number 45, please.” I’ve seen better.

My favourite hobby is…Standing in ASDA’s fresh produce section holding a tube of K-Y Jelly looking contemplative

Co-Op Advert: “Succulent British Joints” Nice to see society has finally come around to the idea of selling crack on the high street

Marks and Spencers has announced they are in financial trouble. They have merged with Poundstretcher. They will now be known as Stretch Marks.